An Open Letter to the Man I Married:

I'm writing this a few days ahead of time because I'm sure right now I'm jet lagged, exhausted, and don't remember what I even had for dinner last night. But first off, Happy Anniversary. 

When I was younger I felt like time went by painfully slowly. I remember feeling like years were decades, and weeks were months. Now today it's the complete opposite. Time goes by too fast. The kids are growing up too fast, the weeks pass before I even know it, and those slow moments alone that we enjoyed together just 3 years ago seem to fly by now. I so often wish to just slow the clock. I wish for longer mornings cuddled up in bed, not saying a word and just feeling your arms around me. I wish for longer car rides so that we can sing, and laugh, talk about now, the future, and everything in between. I long for evenings that never end, watching the 4th season of a show we started less than a week ago, my feet sprawled out across you while irritating you with my 1million questions that all are answered by the show 10 seconds later...every. Single. Time. I had no idea time could go by so quickly until I married you. I'm not complaining, they say time flys when you're having fun, I just never expected it to mean something so bittersweet. 

I can remember several years ago before we were engaged, we were shooting a wedding and getting things set up. You were at the alter looking at something and I walked in and I don't think I ever told you, but seeing you up there just made my heart fall to the floor. In that moment I was sucked into a different reality and you were waiting there for me. It was the sweetest day dream. Then two years ago we made that a reality. In the scheme of things it really does feel like we've only been married a short time, because hopefully we have. I would love at least 60 more anniversaries with you, no pressure or anything. 

But in these 2 years I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot about myself, about you, and more importantly I've learned a lot about marriage. Despite the bit of practice I've had I'm definitely not MVP material, but I'm trying. There are times I want to strangle the life out of you...literally...but then I remember wise words my grandmother once told me (totally worth jotting down) 

She told me that anytime she gets frustrated with my Pawpaw she just imagines how much worse it would be if he wasn't there to be mad at. 

Your mother told me a similar thing when I was feeling pretty frustrated one day with snoring. It would be so much worse to be in that bed alone. 

Wise, wise women. Little things like that really help me keep things in perspective. It reminds me that I didn't marry you because I expected perfection, I married you because no matter how bad a situation is, it will always be slightly better because we're in it together. I've learned a lot about compromise, I've learned to embrace things I cannot change, above all that I have learned just how important faith is. There are things about you that I've learned to love so much more. Your sense of humor, your intelligence, things that once may have irritated me I completely embrace because it's a part of who you are. Like your hard headedness. I've gotten to watch you grow as a husband, I've held your hand as you were ushered into the gates of fatherhood. I have been in awe of your strength and dedication, your patience (which makes sense since you've had to have enough for both of us.) You just never fail to amaze me. 

Which leads me to the reasons I love you just that much more...it's more than you being the person you are, it's who you are FOR me. I have never in my life had someone have as much faith in me as you do. No matter what venture I'm wanting to explore next, or no matter how silly or set up for failure it is you're right there cheering me on, pushing me to do better. You always have my back, even when I'm wrong. I have never had someone love me so wholeheartedly, I have done plenty of things undeserving of your love and instead of tearing me down for it you held me closer. You reminded me that I was on a journey, trying to get away from the person I was and you never let go of my hand throughout that, even when I pretty much tried to figuratively chew my own arm off. You'll never fully understand how much that means to me, I love you so much deeper for never giving up on me. I know on our wedding day I was an air head and totally left my vows a mile down the road but I wanted to share them with you here because I still mean every word of them the same, if not more: