With Love From Betty: 2013

5 Things I wish I could tell my clients...

11:53 PM

My days revolve around 4 things. My camera, my computer, my children and my Husband. I wake up to him leaving, wake up again to the children stirring and then after goodbye kisses they are off for a few hours while I either meet a client, photograph a session or edit one. Occasionally I even do all 3. My life is busy, and I'm okay with that; I'm not one to stay idle. But, in this business I have learned that there are things that people who aren't in this business (like most businesses) just don't get. Not that I can expect them to...sometimes I just want to let them in on what goes on beyond our meetings and everyone's expectations. So here are 5 things I wish I could tell my clients...

1) I cannot live at my computer. I know everyone gets excited for photos but if I spent all day editing my eyeballs would give up on life and fall out of my head. I have a home and children. I, just like every other person need time off to keep sane. So, while I don't respond to your email immediately it doesn't mean I'm ignoring you, I'm probably under a heap of work and will get to it as soon as my brain is straight and I can answer you appropriately. I wish people knew that I am only one person doing the job of at least 5 people. This isn't my hobby, this is my livelihood and at LEAST 12 hours of most of my days. That's not counting the other 12 hours of the day I spend stressing about the first 12 hours....

2) I am not the photographer for everyone. If you're looking for someone to snap a photo that is hip and urban, that person is not me. Just because I have a fancy camera does not mean that I can take any photo at anytime. Much like a yummy cake, each photo has a certain recipe and no matter how delicious my red velvet is there are still some flavors that I just don't bake. Not that I couldn't bake them, just that neither of us would be totally thrilled. But, alas, there is a baker out there for you!

3) You are beautiful. Shooting women is one of the most stressful things to do because women are hard on themselves. They tend to overlook the beauty the rest of us see. I do my best to capture clients in a flattering way, so if you are looking at a photo and think you look too thick just know that at some point I looked at that, smiled, and thought "wow, she's gorgeous. I envy that." Because I am seeing what you can't, you through the eyes of someone unobjective. You are perfect and your children will look back at that and see their Mom, not the 10lbs she desperately felt she needed to lose.

4) Pinterest is good for inspiration, not a photo by photo how to of what you want. When I first started I loved Pinterest and jumped at the idea of mimicking a pose. But now in my ripe old age I almost detest it. I love seeing the photos that make my clients giddy with excitement but what most people don't realize is that you can mimic a pose all day but if the emotion isn't there you can't make it happen. Most of those shots are in the moment, they are 1/200th of a second and they are real. Do not waste your time trying to be someone else, be you and let me capture that. Make your own intimate moments, it will make your photo real. After all, you are falling in love with emotion, not the way an image is posed, because I'm going to let you in on a secret: those aren't posed..

5) Making you happy makes me happy. That one is pretty straight forward. Knowing you love your images can make my heart all but burst. I spend hours working and praying you'll be happy. So even when you don't know it, there's a point where you are my main concern and the center of my photographic world.

I love my job, even on days where I just want a break. I couldn't imagine not doing it. So know that as a client or even a silent follower, I appreciate you. I adore you. You make my job worth it. So the last thing I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, is thank you.

With love,

Kayla

Confessions of a Once Lost Photographer.

12:37 PM

I am an over achiever and a people pleaser; I always have been. Its never enough, or perfect enough. I work myself until the point when a doctor literally has to tell me to stop or I am going to need blood pressure meds. But, thats just part of what makes me "me". I don't mind it one bit...even if my poor husband is all in support of me slowing down. I have however realized that although its not effecting me personally it is effecting my business.

I read a quote a few weeks ago about photography and how you don't have to do everything or be everything. It is what sets the seasoned professionals from the eager beginners. In this sense I am getting over being an eager beginner. I can make a beautiful portrait, but that means nothing in this case. I am learning self worth. When you start out you are keeping your prices low and competitive, really you'd just pay someone to book you! I have been there. I just needed a chance, I needed practice, I needed SO badly to find a way to master the look I wanted. Slowly my prices went up with bookings and with that I branched out. I would literally point my camera at anything that paid. Honestly I don't think that there is anything I don't enjoy shooting at some time or other. But that doesn't mean I should shoot it all all of the time; I realized that but only after a few spur of the moment bookings without taking time to get to know the client. Had I known them I would have never opted to work with them. One harsh reality is that every client is not for you. When your business becomes more about a session fee than a session "you're gonna have a bad time".

Some people think that just because you have a camera you can take the picture that they want, they don't take into consideration that you are an artist with a style. It is vital to get to know your client first, even if its with just one simple conversation. Make sure they know that you are an individual and your work has a look and thats the look they want. Don't have your feelings hurt if they decide its not for them. Cupcakes are ridiculously delicious, but not everyone eats cupcakes. Do cupcakes take offense to that? No. They don't have feelings....but if they did they would be grateful they dodged a bullet.

With all of that said, you also don't have to book every person that is pleading for a spot in your busy schedule (this is one I am still working on). You may see other photographers booking 10 sets a week and feel like you're not doing good enough because you aren't booking near that amount. They must be so amazing to have that many clients banging on their door. Let me let you in on a little secret about that photographer, since I have been her, she is miserable. She is tired. She is struggling to keep up and keep everyone happy. This is what I meant when I said that it starts to effect your business. You get in a hurry to get everything done on time and with that you lose the magic of giving a session your full attention. Yes you may be working hard but in the back of your mind you know you still have hours of work and as much as none of us want to admit it, it effects our outcome. Sure they are beautiful and perfect and your client is thrilled...but are you thrilled every time? There is a fix to this, a hard one but an ultimately better one no doubt. At least for me. LIMIT YOURSELF! Your quality will go up and your stress will go down..and do you know what goes up with quality? Thats right, ca-ching! Money! Find a pace that doesn't leave you wanting to rip your hair out. That pace may be 10-20 full sessions a week...and if it is I want whatever you are taking....

I'm just kidding. I'm sure its coffee you live off of!

But my whole point of all of this is the best way to run your business is by just being "you". Do what makes you happy, work with people you can stand and do the style you love. Suddenly it won't be as much of a job anymore, it will find its way back into being just a passion. You may still be in your uphill climb, do not let me detour you, that is part of the journey. Just know that we all go through the same thing and some of us go through it a lot longer. There is no end your destination, just different steps all leading you to a new level. Know that you are not alone. We have all been there with frustration and wanting to quit, its just a part of running a business. Just remember that beautiful quote I shared:

"You don't have to be the photographer for everybody. And that's okay. You don't have to do it all, shoot it all, be it all. Photograph what you love." - Work of heart Photography

You will fine your place, you will find your pace, you will find where you fit in and you will find the special little ingredient that makes your photography yours. It will make you happy and make your clients happy. Be the photographer that you would be thrilled to work with, not the one who does the most or does the fastest. Just the best you that you can be and then fall in love with photography all over again.

With complete honesty,

Kayla Hatch
Kaylamariephotos.com

Make me tick.

10:21 PM

Nothing in life excites me the way photography does. The feeling in my chest is the equivalent of falling in love, every single time I get in the mood to do it. It is constantly on my mind. That location; that lighting; the freckles on that random kids face. It makes me happy. The funny part is it was never anything I saw myself doing. I dabbled in it for years VERY mildly and never really successfully, then one day it just all clicked and over 2 years it became one of the most important aspects of my life. Believe it or not, I don't love every shoot. Sometimes it is more of a job than something I love. I hate that but its part of life and I make the best of it. I just wanted to take a second to share some of the things I do love. Here are my favorite shots. These are me, they are my vision, my heart and every ounce of my soul.

So this is photography through my eyes.

Mountains and Valleys

12:54 AM

There was a time in my life where I worried about how safe anything and everything I came into contact with was. I was nervous to speak up in conversation if I was not familiar with those already engaged in it. I second guessed every little thing I said and I never really felt in place. I wanted so badly to be able to come out of my shell. To say "Hey, there is more to me than meets the eye." I can't be the only person who has gone through, or is going through that. I was so scared of losing my friends. I was worried about them judging me. I was worried about breaking away from the chains of a parasitic relationship. I was worried about getting into the real world and not being able to make it. I thought I could no go on a month without my Mothers guidance or my then husbands support.

But one by one I proved myself wrong. I opened up. I began to live.

Eric, is hands down the reason I am who I am today. That may sound cheesy, but he saved me. He found me. I couldn't even manage that; but there he was having no idea that in one single day with one fateful seemingly insignificant lunch both of our lives were about to change. From day one we were friends. Suddenly talking came easy, there was never enough of it. Anything, everything, nothing at all. I found myself laughing...I could not remember the last time I had laughed so much. It wasn't just me who took note, later I would learn that my family, too, saw a difference. I began to breathe life. To remember what living felt like. There is more to a day than an 8-5 job and having household chores done on time. I had honestly forgotten that. Long story short, life ended up happening and then I did it; I took a chance. I stepped out on a ledge that was extremely out of my comfort zone and after years of being numb, I FELT life again. I can happily say that a few years later I have not once regretted my decision. There are days where it was tough, but you're going to have those days. Because of him I was able to work on all of the relationships in my life, and it has been so much better. I can walk into any conversation with confidence. I am comfortable in my skin because I know that when that man looks at me, he sees something I don't and he is in love with that. I am worth something to him, and its more than just a paycheck to help with bills. So by taking that chance I was able to right every wrong in my life.

Sometimes we may feel like slaves to our situations, but the truth is that the only thing keeping you tied up is you. If you are unhappy then change it. You don't have to leave, but you damn well don't have to stay shackled to a wall either. My story is not your story, just like yours isn's one of your girlfriend's. There is no formula or "right"decision to make. You just do what is good for you. Life is too short to be miserable. I know that my Mother would be so proud of the woman I was able to blossom into and I know that she would adore any man that helped push me to that. Feeling confident in my decisions has got to be one of the best feelings I have ever been graced with. Things aren't always perfect, of course I still stress. No one is going to have things perfect all of the time. But, if there is one thing that I have learned from all of this it is that in life we travel through mountains and valleys. Things can feel like they are at rock bottom, but you know what? You are that much closer to the top of a mountain. The view is beautiful. The air is fresh. You get a new perspective of your surroundings. I remember a point where I honestly wanted to curl up and die. I wish I were kidding. I am so glad that I made it through that because I can tell you the view from where I am now is absolutely beautiful. But don't worry, you will be here too one day. Just keep hiking and remember that you are not alone. We are all wanderers on the same path. We will all stand in the same places and we will all face separate yet equal challenges. So today, grab your walking stick and take a step forward up that mountain. It may be an uphill climb but the moment you get there you will realize that every time you slipped or stumbled was worth it because climbing is part of the journey and you appreciate the end so much more that way.

With very sleepy eyes,

Kayla

20 Things I Love About my Bestfriend.

10:37 PM

1. Her sense of humor and the fact that its like mine.
2. That long car rides never get old.
3. How she can get up take a shower and put on clothes all in 10 minutes and still look ridiculously adorable.
4. Her dedication to her man!
5. She never complains when I want to eat the same thing for lunch a week in a row, even if she's not feeling it.
6. How she helps out even when I don't ask her to. There are days where I would probably not be able to function if it were not for her.
7. How punny she is.
8. The fact that we can sit on the couch and veg out on MTV for 6 hours and not get tired of it even if its super embarrassing to admit.
9. How crafty she is.
10. Her car singing voice, its gorgeous. I'm Jelly.
11. The way she laughs at me when I am being an idiot...or yelling at someone.
12. Her road rage, although scary at times it is mostly amusing.
13. How she fangirls.
14. She's super crafty.
15. Her taste in music.
16. Which leads me to: singing in the car together...to good charlotte...and usher...
17. The way she can get lost in her wedding planning. I wish I was that organized!
18. How we can get sappy and sad together.
19 . Being able to relate in a way that most people can't as half orphaned peoples.
20. The fact that over the last few months she has become one of the most important people in my life. She might as well be blood. I love having her as a friend and I hate going a day without being able to see her. She is an element I never hope I lose. Its been a long time since I have had a real "best friend" and I am 100% sure that I have finally found that again in her. I feel bad for anyone who hasn't gotten the chance to know what an awesome person she is, because at this point, I am not sharing. :) Thank you Jenny, for being that for me.

Nostalgia In the Worst Way

11:03 PM

There is a moment when you first step into the shower when every worry of the outside world is gone and you're protected by a blanket of warmth and calm. After a moment your mind relaxes, you let down your guard and then there it is, like an arrow through the heart, every worry and memory those walls were protecting you from.

For a moment I'm walking into a steamy bathroom, breathing in the fresh moisture, smiling warmly at the man I married. I'm laying in bed with my best friend covering my mouth stifling my laughter as to not wake my grandparents downstairs. I'm curled up on the couch watching court tv and talking to my Mother about life. For a moment, every single knife that I've been trying to pull out of my chest, twists and digs a little deeper. Every ounce of the past that I want to forget is right there playing so vividly through my mind. I think about where I thought I'd be right now, all the things I expected of myself. I was so damn determined to make a difference. There were people that I always thought would be there and now they're gone forever, some figuratively and the very worst one literally. My stomach knots, my eyes are full of tears, and in this moment I am helpless. I am different - and yet I am still me in some ways.

Behind every face of strength, there is a person struggling to be that way. A person with a past, and a person with their heart and head set on the future. There is no such thing as perfect, instead we all are given the opportunity to do our best with what life has given us and the choices we have made; thats as close to perfection as we're ever going to get.

With an aching heart tonight,

Kayla

Those who Wander.

12:21 AM

There is a common saying that goes "Not all who wander are lost" but I believe the truth is that you don't realize just how lost you are until you find yourself.

There are days I wake up and feel like the world is mine. I breathe in nothing but the air of opportunity and it is absolutely unparalleled. But, with that there are also days I wake up and regret even getting out of bed. I don't like having those days but if I didn't then I would have never learned to appreciate the good ones. The root of a good day to me is being able to embrace the feeling of calm and assurance. No worry, no negativity, just knowing that its in Gods hands and being completely thrilled about that. We all stumble, and we all back slide but we are so blessed to be able to fall back on our faith when we need it the most. How lucky are we?

Today society is filled with so many materialistic ideals, you have to have the best clothes and highest price tag to be beautiful. If you're ribs aren't showing then you're not sexy. If your hair isn't like the girls in the magazines then you're not gorgeous. If you don't go out and club then you're not cool. Intelligence is looked at as snobbery and swag is accepted more as a credential than some college degrees. We have ruined ourselves. Do you know what's beautiful? Kindness and selflessness. Do you know what's sexy? Being a woman comfortable in her own skin. Do you know what's gorgeous? A genuine smile that reflects a giving heart. Do you know what's cool? Finding yourself. Do you know whats smart? Being brave enough to be faithful while still having your wits about you. Lastly, do you know what gives you credentials? Living and experiencing life and all it's wonders. As long as we keep falling into all these modern idealistic black holes then we are going to keep setting ourselves and future generations up for failure. We have completely demolished the idea of family. Traditions are slowly going out the window, which is heartbreaking. At what point did the American dream became a nightmare? At what point did the values of being a lady disapate? What happened? Did we wander too far from our roots? Not all who wander may be lost, but if you're not reaching a destination then how will you ever appreciate the journey? I don't want to be today's wandering woman. I want to be grounded. To be strong, to be smart, to be a good wife and mother. My journey has a destination, and it's back to the roots of life. Imagine how different things would be if we all looked at the big picture.

With love,

Kayla.

Learning to Live Again.

12:21 AM

I have this thing about men. I can look at them, touch them and imagine their worth to someone else. More than once I have said, in sincere honesty, "One day you are going to make some Woman very happy." I remember vividly touching my ex husbands cheek the last time I uttered it. So beautiful and perfect, and I knew one day someone would see that and appreciate it like it should have been. That woman just wasn't me no matter how badly I wished it was at the time. I have made my fair share of mistakes. I, more than anyone was stuck on the fact that I didn't deserve to be happy. I broke hearts, I hurt people unintentionally and I was completely convinced that I was a corrosive human being. No matter how much good was in my heart or love, it was never enough to make me perfect; to make me happy. I had built a life and I had watched myself destroy it piece by piece with every ounce of fight I had left. I will never be able to fully explain the feeling of complete submission I was fighting back at the end. I had lost myself. My drive, my ambition...it was all just gone. Everything that made me, me, had slipped away from me and I hadn't even known it. I just wanted so badly to be everything to everyone. I just wanted to be someones happy but I had become someones heartache instead. Then one day, in a pair of big brown eyes I saw things change. There was a look of wonder and admiration. If you have never had someone look at you like that, let me tell you, it will stop you in your tracks and take your breath away. Its a look that you'd give up a years salary just to know the thoughts behind. Suddenly there was someone I could laugh with. Someone who saw so much more in me than I had seen in myself. Slowly, I felt myself opening up. I could feel my drive and ambition boiling, things I hadn't felt in years. It was like opening a door and stepping out and seeing the world for the first time again. I had forgotten how amazing the air smelled in the fall and the way that the sway of a boat on the lake could make your heart jump. The closest thing I can compare it to is diving deep underwater and then as you're swimming up you can feel yourself needing to gasp for air but you can't. The light is right there and it feels like every second is an hour as you paddle upwards and then there it is, that first quenching breath of air. That is the feeling of life, and our natural desire to hold on to it. I was drowning, and I hadn't even known. Despite my new found excitement and happiness part of me still said "this isn't for you." I looked at him and yet again that same thought took over. "You will make some Woman so happy one day, one that can love you like you should be loved." I know more than anyone what a mess I can be. I have never been the content girl by nature, I had always wanted so much more from life and at this point I had a mess of emotions running through my head and even worse, my heart. I couldn't stand the thought of being a failure to anyone else. Especially as a Woman. It turns out that at 18, you're not quite there. Its so easy to think you have life figured out but the reality is that most of us are still caterpillars at that age or in cases like mine we are cocoons. Life decisions have pushed us to maturing a little faster so we start building a barrier around ourselves and during this time we start to change. We may block out things about our past like our friends and we may start to feel different about life, we are beginning to look at it with new eyes. Eventually we are able to emerge and suddenly things have changed completely. Sadly sometimes when we change we leave other cocoons behind, still shaking waiting for their own day and we have to let them go. Its a very bitter sweet point in life but we all hit it at different times. Some people may hit it at 19 and others may not hit it until 30. I am sure there are bitter people who never hit it at all and die as caterpillars, but as is life. I had spent so long building a barrier to protect myself that I had completely forgotten why I was even doing it. Then one day it happened, I opened my eyes and I was born again.

Most importantly, I was able to look at things with a new perspective. I could look at those big brown eyes and instead of thinking "its not me." I was able to say "why not me?" I could love him. This was me starting over so what was stopping me? There was no written rule saying my past had to be my future and I was not going to let someone else make that decision for me. I was not the same caterpillar that had slinked away, I was someone new, someone that no one knew enough to judge. For the first time in my life someone told me I was worth it, and there was nothing in the world I wanted to be more than worth it to him. So this is me. A fresh slate, a burning desire to do things right. A heart that wants to love and a will that reflects that of an eager young girl with the world ahead of her. This is me, learning to live again.

Because her Love has shaped me, this one is

With Love From Kayla.

Lessons for Kadie.

9:17 PM

Today I am thankful for big blue eyes, little pink lips, soft blonde hair and a heart as pure as snow. Today, I am thankful for Kadie.

I remember the moment I fell in love with her. She was wrapped in a blanket and looked like a little Eskimo. She had a perfect button nose and was so tiny and fragile feeling in my arms. I hadn't laid eyes on her but for 10 seconds and suddenly she was the most important thing in my life. I was scared to death, I had no idea what I was doing but I knew that I had to do it because this little bundle of baby needed me. I can remember hearing her say "I love you" for the first time and how my eyes filled with tears and my heart with so much joy. From the moment she was born, she had always been very, very special. It's not just because she's my kid, of course I'm bias to that part, but Kadie honestly had a way about her that is hard not to fall in love with, for such a little girl she has such a big heart.

All too often when I look at her I see myself, I know how she's feeling and I understand the thoughts going through her head. Sometimes I stay up at night while she's curled up beside me and I wonder how she'll be when she's older. I always pray she doesn't lose sight of herself and that she keeps goals and doesn't let that big heart of hers stray her from her path in life. This evening I couldn't help but want to hug her and just tell her all the things I want for her, but, she wouldn't understand all of that right now. So perhaps I will start here and maybe several years from now I'll stumble back upon this and she'll get to hear it for herself.

Dearest Daughter,

You are such a ray of light, you can bring so much life to a room with just your smile and laugh and I know as you grow that will grow with you. While your desire for attention is understandable I want you to know that I know without a doubt you will always be the girl who can walk into a room and draw attention from every corner, your personality and wit is truly one of a kind. I have never met such an empathetic 4 year old. I pray you hold onto that, and while I know emotions can be overwhelming, I hope that your loving heart is able to touch others and I hope you are such a gracious giver. I want you to remember how precious love is and I hope you find it, fall completely in it and I hope you never have a broken heart. Sadly, broken hearts tend to come with teenage territory so if you do find yourself picking up the pieces I hope you're not too prideful to let me help you glue it back together. I hope you keep a positive outlook on life, the world is so big and full of opportunity and I hope you are able to embrace and appreciate that. I want you to chase your dreams, no matter how silly, your happiness is worth it. I hope you never settle for less than your own personal perfection, there are no limits to what you can have if you set your mind and heart to something equally. I pray you put The Lord at the center of your life and that you live your life that way. Today it is so easy to put faith aside but you are not like every other girl, you are strong enough to be faithful and I trust you will follow that path. I hope you never let anyone change your weird nerdy quirks, you are such a wonderful mix of things and it makes you very special. I hope you always go out of your way to understand and help others, even now your compassion is just astounding and I hope it grows with you and you allow it to branch out and touch others. Above all of this I hope you know how loved you are, how precious you are and how much this life can hold for you. I will always be here if you need me, I will never judge you and I will always support you and try to guide you through life as a loving Mother should, and will do everything in my power to make you proud and set a good example.

You will always be my princess.

With love from,
Mommy.

Parenting, Wanderlust and Finding Yourself.

11:43 AM

Today, I am thankful for freedom. I am thankful for wide open spaces and star filled skies. Today I am thankful for the want to travel and experience new things. I am thankful for being able to find such beauty and happiness in the things at home. Little victories like finishing a finger painting with my children or breathing in the air of a new state. Today, I am thankful for living outside of the box.

In today's world we get so caught up in things, I fear we forget how to really live. We don't do much outside of work and home so it's like we're living in a bubble. Trying to keep up with someone else's life as depicted on their social media site. We talk about being good wives and parents but we spend more time trying to make it look as if we are than actually putting the world aside and loving on our children, sometimes. When was the last time you went outside and just played with your kids? Put the smartphone down, got off of the Internet and just spent an hour pretending to be a dragon as you're chased by brave little knights dressed in kitchen cookware? It's probably longer than you'd like to admit; I know it is for me. I remember being young and playing outside every day, cartoons weren't an all day thing and my imagination was worth more than an iPad. What are we doing to our children? Cooping them up in front of a TV so we can browse Pinterest quietly. I read "Mom blogs" all the time and while new age honesty is nice I worry that we glorify the idea of embracing how lazy we can be. Sure I want a glass of wine every now and then after a long day but I tell you what, I respect the Mom more who is too busy actually playing with her children to blog about all the "Mom" things she does in a new chic way, like throwing a towel over a wet bed the night before or hiding from her kids in the bathroom with a snack for a moment of silence. I know how stressful parenting can be and occasionally I laugh with sympathy because I understand that Mom, we are all that Mom. But maybe, she should use the power of her words that others read to instead open eyes to the generation we have become. We can become more concerned with making out lives look perfect and having the newest and greatest that we forget what quality time is like. It's time to find that again, to make it. Instead of sneaking a (much needed) glass of wine before bed why don't you go read your baby a story. Watch those little eyes close and for a moment stare in wonder at something we all might take for granted from time to time. Put the phones down at dinner, actually talk about your day. We are the most detached generation probably ever.

Beyond changing as parents, we could all change as people. If there is one thing I think should be done more it is definitely traveling. Home is where your heart is, but the rest of the world is so incredibly beautiful. Get out, and get cultured! If we stay in the same place we start to forget how much is out there, different people, different ways of life we can all learn from. Stop worrying about trying to impress everyone and start focusing on yourself, feed your own soul instead of trying to stir up jealousy in another's. You are such a powerful person and are capable of so much....why not start "living" now? Life is waiting.

Always,
With Love From Betty.

The Woes of being a Woman.

7:11 PM

I will spend most of this week attempting to eat my weight in food, crying for no apparent reason at all and giving the meanest woman you can think of a run for her money. Ah, menstruation. Suddenly the fact that other people are breathing will be enough to send me off the hinges, and then into a fit of tears because I hate the fact I get so touchy. I will spend all hours of the night eating sweets and the smell of fried foods can just about bring me to my knees and I am avoiding talking to certain people for fear of the horrible (although probably true) things they may escape these lips of mine. You know whats up, Ladies.

While my homicidal tendencies once a month are definitely a woe, there is another one that has been on my mind today. We live in a time where being objectified is desired and girls bodies are maturing faster than their minds. Just because your uterus works, does not mean you should use it. I have such a hard time understanding how out of hand this teen pregnancy thing has gotten, I know, I'm preaching to the choir. But, at what point does the idea that having a baby before marriage seem like a good idea? I get it happens, it happened to ME. I am not an outsider looking in, I've been the girl staring at 2 pink lines, I know how that "you're not invincible" slap in the face feels. My case might not be like the next girls, but for 2 seconds, when that test finished developing, we were all in the exact same pair of shoes. I have done a lot of growing up since that day, of course I had no choice but to. It wasn't until my second planned child in wedlock that I realized just how skewed things were the first time. Not that I regret them in the least, both of my children are very wonderful blessings. I just wish I could go back to me at 17 and say, hey, slow down. My life turned out mostly okay, right? Why would I change anything? Realistically I wouldn't. Even through the separation and stress of everything changing, I wouldn't change a thing because I learned from it, and hopefully one day I can give some other girl wisdom and maybe save her some heart break. Just maybe.

I know peer pressure can be hard and I know its hard not to want what others have, but what people overlook now is how wonderful things are when done the traditional way; how wonderful it is to maintain values. Meet a guy, fall in love, ENJOY being in love, get him wrapped around your finger, let him put a ring on that finger, kiss him in front of God and everyone declaring him your partner for life and then carefully and excitedly plan for a child, record every wonderful moment of it. To me there is just no appeal to meeting a guy, falling in love, getting pregnant and then praying he eventually asks you to marry him. Sadly, there are times...quite frequently...when that does not happen. He leaves and all of his empty promises leave with him. Life isn't perfect, we can hope for the best but sometimes life can lay one mean right hook right on the side of your jaw. If I could go back I would tell myself, "just breathe, think it out, there is so much life ahead of you and if you stay on this path it is not going to be the way you imagined. Your fancy college degree? Its not going to happen. Traveling after your honeymoon? Darling, you aren't getting one." I am very happy with the cards I was dealt, I love being a Mother, it is very natural to me, but I also miss the fact that now I won't get those perfect firsts. My seconds seem to be fairly promising, but its adjusting to a new life and trying to make it as traditional as possible, its not the American dream. So girls, just think it out, expect more from yourselves. He does not deserve to Father your children until he is man enough to call you a wife.

A fairly easy solution to all of this is quite simple, just be a lady. Keep your head and standards high. It is never too late to turn life around, to do things your own personal "right" way. We all just need to hold ourselves to higher standards, to realize that you as a person control the decisions you make and you control your own life. You are strong, you are beautiful and you are worth tradition; the trick is to find a Man who sees that. Don't settle for a dead beat because you're in a hurry, sure he can pass the time but remember there is someone out there who wants to give you the world...who thinks you are the world. When you find him, hold on and never let go.

Now that I have vented on here I won't have to go post "What is wrong with you?." on peoples facebook walls, you just did the world (or at least a few of my facebook friends) a favor by reading this!

Not so much with love, but with passive aggressive anger,

From Betty