There was a time in my life where I worried about how safe anything and everything I came into contact with was. I was nervous to speak up in conversation if I was not familiar with those already engaged in it. I second guessed every little thing I said and I never really felt in place. I wanted so badly to be able to come out of my shell. To say "Hey, there is more to me than meets the eye." I can't be the only person who has gone through, or is going through that. I was so scared of losing my friends. I was worried about them judging me. I was worried about breaking away from the chains of a parasitic relationship. I was worried about getting into the real world and not being able to make it. I thought I could no go on a month without my Mothers guidance or my then husbands support. 

But one by one I proved myself wrong. I opened up. I began to live. 

Eric, is hands down the reason I am who I am today. That may sound cheesy, but he saved me. He found me. I couldn't even manage that; but there he was having no idea that in one single day with one fateful seemingly insignificant lunch both of our lives were about to change. From day one we were friends. Suddenly talking came easy, there was never enough of it. Anything, everything, nothing at all. I found myself laughing...I could not remember the last time I had laughed so much. It wasn't just me who took note, later I would learn that my family, too, saw a difference. I began to breathe life. To remember what living felt like. There is more to a day than an 8-5 job and having household chores done on time. I had honestly forgotten that. Long story short, life ended up happening and then I did it; I took a chance. I stepped out on a ledge that was extremely out of my comfort zone and after years of being numb, I FELT life again. I can happily say that a few years later I have not once regretted my decision. There are days where it was tough, but you're going to have those days. Because of him I was able to work on all of the relationships in my life, and it has been so much better. I can walk into any conversation with confidence. I am comfortable in my skin because I know that when that man looks at me, he sees something I don't and he is in love with that. I am worth something to him, and its more than just a paycheck to help with bills. So by taking that chance I was able to right every wrong in my life. 

Sometimes we may feel like slaves to our situations, but the truth is that the only thing keeping you tied up is you. If you are unhappy then change it. You don't have to leave, but you damn well don't have to stay shackled to a wall either. My story is not your story, just like yours isn's one of your girlfriend's. There is no formula or "right"decision to make. You just do what is good for you. Life is too short to be miserable. I know that my Mother would be so proud of the woman I was able to blossom into and I know that she would adore any man that helped push me to that. Feeling confident in my decisions has got to be one of the best feelings I have ever been graced with. Things aren't always perfect, of course I still stress. No one is going to have things perfect all of the time. But, if there is one thing that I have learned from all of this it is that in life we travel through mountains and valleys. Things can feel like they are at rock bottom, but you know what? You are that much closer to the top of a mountain. The view is beautiful. The air is fresh. You get a new perspective of your surroundings. I remember a point where I honestly wanted to curl up and die. I wish I were kidding. I am so glad that I made it through that because I can tell you the view from where I am now is absolutely beautiful. But don't worry, you will be here too one day. Just keep hiking and remember that you are not alone. We are all wanderers on the same path. We will all stand in the same places and we will all face separate yet equal challenges. So today, grab your walking stick and take a step forward up that mountain. It may be an uphill climb but the moment you get there you will realize that every time you slipped or stumbled was worth it because climbing is part of the journey and you appreciate the end so much more that way.

With very sleepy eyes,

Kayla