Why my Uterus is None of Your Damn Business.

Well, spoiler alert. I am indeed apparently crazy. 

Several people lectured me on how hard life would be with three kids. It's an adjustment they'd say. No idea how people have more. You'd go broke. So on and so forth. 

Well I have three kids and the only thing I'm more poor for is me time. But, that's okay because I know that doesn't last forever. As the kids get closer to teen years I am sure things will tighten up but as of right now my world has not imploded and amazingly things aren't that bad. As a matter of fact, they're not bad at all. I love having 3 kids. I love watching them love each other and bond, I love watching them help each other. My heart is three times larger than it has ever been. We brave public places, we take trips,  our world did not end like many well meaning people suggested. 

Then, then came the news. I would defy the laws of middle class America and I would push a FOURTH baby out of my vagina. WOAH. We decided when Finn was a few months old (you know after you convince yourself bedrest wasn't *that* bad) that a fourth kid would fit us perfectly. After a few months of failed trying and no ovulation - I know I'm getting personal here - we decided to wait until summer and proceed with all the fun pokes and prods of in office baby making help. We never, and I mean never, expected a positive test when we got it. We were in shock. Excited but in shock. I mean it's been a few months and we still are. 4 kids is a lot of kids, I don't need anyone to tell me that. I can count. But you see, I don't see it as imminent doom. I see it as now I have at least a 1 in 4 chance that I'll have a successful kid. Also when I get old, I'll be able to guilt a different kid each week into bringing me food or visiting me. How cool is that?! Having 4 kids means I've seriously considered trading our car in for a mini van even though my SUV has third row seating. Adding a fourth kid has added stress - but not in the ways you'd think. I am more worried about letting a rude comment slip to a well meaning person who gawks at the fact that I look so young and have a belly with three kids in tow. I'm going to let you in on a secret if you think it's okay to say things like that to a person with a medium sized or large family. 

You're a rude bitch and you're going to get half the visits I am at the old folks home. We'll see who's giving condescending smiles then, Grandma. 

I do not think that adding another baby is the end of the world. No matter what the timing is.  I'm quite tickled at getting to cuddle another sweet little soul and watch them bond with siblings. The truth is that there is no one size fits all for families. Some people want one kid, some want 10. While we can make the welfare argument because I know people love to justify their arguments by trying to relate on how this affects them (moot point here because I ball just fine no matter what's going on in my uterus) the truth is - IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I joke a lot about having a million kids, it's easy to feel that way when people look at you funny when you have more than three. I have the perfect amount of kids for my family. Having this many children has taught me a lot too. I've learned patience, I've learned how to tune out things that aren't blood curdling screams of pain, I can hide candy with the best of them, and man I can get through the grocery store like a frigin Olympic competitor! This is fine with me. My grandma told me before I had my second kid that on paper you can never afford another kid, but they pay in so many different ways. And she's right, I'm not getting any younger and frankly I'm tired of 9 month breaks from wine. So this is my last hoorah. The final little chubby pink cheeked cherub to end my reproductive years. And I am excited to unload 4 kids from a car - to get stares in public. Because I know that the only person your opinion is hurting is you. I see you frazzled with your one toddler and unwashed hair. Seeing me with collected children in public (mostly because I put the fear of Jesus in them) has to hit a nerve. I was you, I remember. But, let me lay it out for you, the thing that makes this all work is this won't be my first rodeo..or second...or third. It's all in experience. So I've learned not to judge you, and hopefully one day, if you're not just a total dick then you'll get to see things from my glorious parenting perspective. So before you make comments on how often someone is fertilizing their uterus to them, just don't. 

With four times the love, 

Kayla.